We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sober January is a disaster.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
