I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
