I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
