yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
