he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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