I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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