I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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