she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it because I queefed?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
