like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
