Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
