his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
