So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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