No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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