do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
