My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
