she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
