you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
