I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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