and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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