your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
