I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My penis needs a shock collar
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
