I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
