ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
