So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
