That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thus making me awesome and them whores
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
