drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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