Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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