Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
