Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
