the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
only if we run a train.
done.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
