homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
