I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
