try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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