I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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