I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
