he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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