i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
