i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
