I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
