I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
