I don't think brook has ever known best
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
