Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
