God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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