Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
