Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
