We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
