is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
