You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
