I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
