i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
