Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
