ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
