At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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