so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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