We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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